Tragedy

I was called into my bosses office yesterday and she told me some unsettling news. They had a female brought in since she was caught distributing Promicin. This female had a list of names which she handed the Promicin to and on that lists were the names of my cousin and soon to be cousin-in-law.

My boss asked if I knew anything about it and I responded honestly by saying I did but that it was not my place to do anything about it free will states that no one has the right to stop anyone else from taking Promicin and because I wasn't on the job at the time when I found out, that I had no legal duty to say anything. I told my boss that I had warned them of the risks and that I told them taking Promicin might be a bad idea for them considering what they had to lose but that in the end the decision wasn't up to me.

My boss looked at me. She said nothing but by reading her thoughts I knew that she felt I had made the wrong decision in not confiscating the Promicin. To each is own.

Instead my boss just looked at me sympathetically and right then I knew there was something wrong. She told me that a few NTAC agents were looking in to the people that were on the list and so they went to Jade's apartment only to have found her and Ben dead on the floor. The autopsy reported they had been dead for 24 hours.

I could not believe it. Then again, was I really surprised by it? I thought I was but at the same time I had this nagging feeling that something would not go right if they took it. I could have prevented this but I didn't.

Before leaving the office, I was given a letter. It was written by Ben. I took the envelope without saying anything and then went back to work. Home was the last place I wanted to be. I wanted to dive into my work and that's what I did until 11:45 pm. I could not deal with their deaths. And I still don't feel I'm ready to. The envelope with Ben's letter still sits in my office, under a bunch of paper work. I'm hoping I will forget about it so I don't have to read it but unfortunately I have to read it eventually. I can't just be stupid and throw it away without knowing his final words. When I have the strength to read it I will.

To make myself feel better I've been reminding myself of Jordan Collier's message: "The war of the future will be fought in the past." I have to believe that my friends died for a purpose. They were very well aware of the risks and they knew what they were doing. They knew the possibility of death lingered over head yet they were willing to take that risk. They were willing to sacrifice their lives for a greater cause. And that's what this world is asking of us now: that we step up to the plate: we either make a home run or we strike out. Everyone making home runs seems like a better idea but there must be a balance and some must strike out.

There will continue to be more deaths- that's unfortunate but it's what is asked of us if we are to prevent the terrible future from coming to pass.