Directions

I went into NTAC today and sure enough my boss reinstated me. You'd think I'd be happy about it and maybe I would be if the circumstances were different. I said thank you to my boss and then went to my office. Ray was out in the field so I was fortunate enough to close the door and put my head down on the desk for a while.

I have come to a fork in the road and I'm not sure which path to take.

Last night, Jordan Collier made an announcement on tv. There were some things that he said that really captured my attention such as these two critical statements:

"For too long those of us with special gifts, 4400s and non-4400s have had to conceal our abilities. The time for hiding is over and the time for miracles has begun."

"For those willing to join us, we welcome you. All you need is an ability and the willingness to be apart of a miracle."

I work for NTAC so there are times that I forget that I am also a Promicin Positive. I love my job, I really do but is this what my father would have wanted of me? To enforce the laws and arrest other P.Positives? I thought that by working at NTAC, I could somehow be a bridge between NTAC and 4400s/P.Positives but now I'm not so sure. What have I done that constitutes as merits for both sides?

Jordan's message last night, really made me see things in a different way. It made me want to help out his cause. He has been here in Seattle for a while and as much as I had wanted to find him in the past, now here's my chance and instead I hide away. I hide behind the wall that is NTAC.

Ever since I first developed my ability, all I have been doing is using it for my personal use and on a recreational basis but I've never really made a difference with it. Now I'm starting to think the time has come to come out from behind the wall.

The only dilema is: if I do decide to help Collier what will happen to my future at NTAC? If Jordan Collier is one of the good guys, which I believe he is, what does that make the government? And most importantly what does it make NTAC? If I go through with this can I give it the old cloak and dagger routine where I end up having a double identity? I'm no superhero so how would that even work?

I talked to Diana Skouris last night. She told me what her daughter Maia had done. In a way I was proud of what Maia did. She's just a little kid yet she had more courage than I could ever hope to have. Diana understands my position and unfortunately this is a choice I must make on my own. It's easy for her to talk to Maia about all of this because she's her daughter- I'm just a neighbor and friend. Sometimes I wish I still had my parents around to help point me in the right direction. The closest person I have in my life at the moment is Diana Skouris since I see her on an everyday basis but there is only so much she can do in the advice giving field. I appreciate her for doing her best and I am grateful that she has been there. Not even Kai can help since he's so far away.

I have some idea as to what I want to do but what I want and what I have to do are two different things. I will see how the day goes at NTAC and then just maybe things will seem much clearer. I just have to ask myself: If I decide to follow Collier, am I ready to give up my career as an NTAC agent?

Carter Samson: The Leak

During my suspension, it gave me time to work on a case that was pro bono. I was determined to find out the person that leaked out my information on "The Marked". I was told personally by my boss to let NTAC handle it but there was no way I was going to trust the agents she had put in charge. I read their thoughts and I knew they weren't going to put any effort into it. They were agents who didn't like that a Promicin Positive was working for NTAC. So I did what I naturally do, I took matters into my own hands.

I left Seattle on Wednesday (since I got a video message from Kai on Tuesday). We talked and he told me he saw the paper that contained the little leak. He understood what I had planned to do.

On Weds. I made my way down South, hoping that I would have some kind of lead. It was on Thursday when an article was printed in a local paper from Phoenix, AZ that I knew I had my guy.

I followed the trail and thanks to some family of his, I was able to follow Carter to Sacramento, California. I found him just where his aunt said he would be. We talked a bit but all of it was just more lies. Carter and I had dated in high school. I had always liked him and personally I didn't want to leave high school without having a boyfriend because then I would come to believe there was something wrong with me.

After a while, I came to see what was truly infront of me: that Carter Samson was a born liar. And now with my ability in reading his thoughts, I knew that everything he was saying was a lie. He didn't want the world to know my thoughts on certain issues- him thinking that those thoughts could change the world. What he wanted was fame and glory. And most of all to get back at me for breaking up with him. That was what he really wanted.

When we first met up, Samson and I gave each other a hug (in which I inserted a little micro chip that I had been working on that can record a person's thoughts). That micro chip transmits those thoughts into a microchip I have on my cerebral cortex. When I take the chip out of me, all of a person's thoughts are inside my microchip. I've been working on it for weeks and I finally got it to perfection.

As we talked, him through lies of coarse, by reading his mind I was able to find that he had been getting back at every girlfriend of his since high school by getting into their heads and pullling out vital information and sending it to the papers.

When I finally decided I had enough, I told Samson to close his eyes and that I would give him something that he could always remember me for (he thought I would come back to him and kiss him.) Instead, I pulled out a syringe filled with the Promicin Inhibitor and injected it into his arm. At least now his ability is contained and he can't get into anyone's head anymore. He can get into video games but that's about it and even then it's difficult for him to do.

I called the California NTAC division and within minutes they arrived and took Carter Samson away.

On Monday I plan to go back to NTAC in hopes that my boss will lift my suspension now that Carter Samson has been caught. I even plan to show her the evidence from the microchip so hopefully that will give me double the points (so to speak).

I'll just have to wait and see in the meantime. Luckily this weekend, I have several boat tours lined up to keep me busy.

"X" Marks the Spot

How does this happen?! I posted a memo on what I thought was a secure Promicin Positive site and now my exact words have found their way into the local paper! How does this happen?! My words were on none other than a group of people known as "The Marked". I dare not repeat the words here.

Will there be consequences? I have no doubt that there will be. I don't know how it got into the papers but I make a promise to the person who did this: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE & I WILL FIND YOU!

Get ready my video game freak: We went to high school together and I know it was you. Getting back at me like this won't work.

First Kill

It finally happened. I finally shot and killed someone. And not just anyone- this person I killed was none other than my uncle Ash Milano. I keep telling myself that the reasons were justified and that I was just doing my job. The funny thing about this that I hated my uncle so much because of who and what he was yet I still feel bad for the fact that I had to kill him.

The event happened on TuesdayJuly 17th:

I was in the office working on some files when my partner came in and handed me a file flat on the desk. I opened it and sure enough it was Ash. 60+ years old and that stupid SoB took Promicin. Just when I thought he wasn't bad enough he goes and does something like that.

My uncle wasn't a great guy. He was a gangster and all around violent person. Killing people, abusing them, raping them. Taking Promicin only helped to make him more violent. His ability, NTAC had come to name was the "Ash Death". His name was Ash so his ability name lived up to it. With his hand, it would turn red and once it did he would lay his hands on a person and they would heat up so much (and painfully I might add) that within seconds they would crumble to ashes.

We got a lead on where Ash was at and then the cops managed to capture him without getting burned. I and my partner showed up. Tom Baldwin & Diana Skouris came as backup. I didn't want anyone else handling it so I took over.

I tried to talk to him but of coarse it didn't work. He said that he saw the anger and hatred in me and he said that I was like him. I am nothing like him!

Some of the agents started surrounding him and then a few of the agents got too close. Diana Skouris was one of them. Ash held her hostage so with my ability, I took off my glove to produce a shark. I tossed it at the hand Ash was using on Diana and the shark easily bit his hand off before he had a chance to burn it. The pain phased him a little but not so much since he's had worse pain in his life. Skouris was able to escape but there was still another agent to worry about. I called out for Seahawk and he came and started pecking Ash's head. It worked but Ash soon had the upper hand and vaporised my bird.

While still holding the other agent hostage, Ash had finally had enough and with his hand vaporised the agent just as I shot him point blank in the chest. My only problem: I couldn't stop shooting. I kept shooting Ash until my clip ran out. I wanted to make sure he was dead. He had abused my grandparents, his sisters, even his many wifes and children (both male and female). I wanted to make sure that he was dead and that nothing in this world could revive him. Diana had to come and put my hand down to stop shooting.

As grateful as I am to Jordan Collier for giving out Promicin (without it I would not have an ability) but at the same time I always forget that we aren't in Utopia yet. There are still those who take Promicin so they can have an ability to enhance the evil that they all ready are. Ash is proof of that evil.

The fact that he's dead makes things better but the fact that I could not stop myself from shooting is what scares me. And also the fact that Tuesday was the first time I ever had to use my ability as a defense mechanism also scares me.

I understand that I was simply doing what had to be done. Especially because I was on the job and he had killed an agent so by law as part of my job it was allowed for me to do whatever necessary to stop the killer.

But still, I experienced two firsts: using my ability to stop a bad man and also using my gun and having license to kill and now I'm not sure what the future will ask of me next. Will there be more killing- there is no doubt in my mind. The main question I have to ask myself is: the next time I am faced with having to kill someone, will I be able to stop and control myself?

The EP 4400 Center

(Written on July 13th)

The new 4400 Center opened today. Jasper had the honor of cutting the ribbon as he will be the one to run the place.

There was a huge turn out; over 500 people.

Yesterday (July 12th), with Jasper's permission, I gave Ria a job. She will still be able to attend her classes at the University as well as her ROTC obligations as well as have time to study but when she has time, she will be getting a fully paid salary as well as benefits. Her job will entail counseling to adolescents as well as adults who haven't had a great life and in which there has been much darkness for them. She will use her ability only if it is deemed absolutely necessary during a session.

As for the EP4C, things are looking up.

I have 3 hopes:

1.) That Ria is able to help my cousin, Lana Keith. I have sent a letter to my aunt saying that if my cousin does not report to the first counceling at the appointed date, then I legally have the right to report to Child & Protective Services about the home situation

2.) That the Center does well enough so they will rarely have to rely on me

3.) That I never in my life have to come back to this town

Ria Contoras

(written on July 12th)

After doing my part in today's basic training for the new employees, I decided to walk the grounds for a little while. As I was walking, I made my way to the visitors center where I saw a friend of mine: Ria Contoras.

She and I went to the same high school. Ria was always a good friend. She gave me my first Star Wars Galactic Heroes (since I never got around to getting any myself). They were a Christmas gift since we did a secret Santa in our health class. She got me. There was always something to talk about. A born military brat, Ria was part of the JROTC and has continued so now that she will be starting university.

I asked Ria what she was doing at the Center since it didn't open until tomorrow. We went outside to talk:

_________________________________________________

"I heard you were in town so I thought I would just drop by. When you left there was no goodbye, no forwarding address, you even changed your e-mail addresses, not even the family you still have knew where you went."

"I know," I replied. "I'm sorry about that."

"People have been really worried about you."

"I find that a little hard to believe since I was a loner in high school."

"You had friends," she replied back.

"Most of which are dead now. At least the ones I was really close to."

"I heard: they all had the courage to take Promicin. They looked up to you, you know. They followed you despite the risks."

"I wish they hadn't; now look where it's got them- a hole in the ground where seldom people will ever visit."

"Not all of them," Ria said to me.

"You took Promicin?" I asked her.

"A few weeks ago." She said with a smile, "I was terrified but I thought of you: I'd heard about the work you were doing- those stories people were talking about from their Island Adventure boat tours and I knew that if I wanted to do the good work like you were doing, then I had to take that risk."

"If you had died," I said, "I would have hated you but more so, I would have hated myself. You're one of the few friends I actually have left. So what ability did you get? I mean I know it's not about getting an ability, it's about making a difference but I am curious."

"I'm a light spotter."

"Mind explaining that one?"

"You know how a criminal will go confess his sins to a priest; my ability is similar to that. In bad people I see this sort of light, a light of goodness. When I touch a bad person I'm able to get rid of most of the dark energy so that the light can flourish instead. Once I've done that it's up to them if they want to continue letting the light shine or if they want to go back to letting the darkness in."

"That's impressive. Although don't a majority go back into the darkness. There's so much of it in this world that light sometimes seems a little dimmer."

"I've had a few cases where they go back to the darkness but I have a 90 percentile where they continue letting the light grow. All ready some people I've touched have made small differences in their lives: helping a woman carry groceries to her car, going to parks to clean up, using ozone free products, not standing by as a person get's assulted, opening the door for someone with a smile. Basically little things that we take for granted. Once their ready I'm sure they'll step up to the plate to handle the bigger stuff."

"That's great, Ria. I'm proud of you."

________________________________________

So Ria has a neat ability. I'm really glad she wasn't one of the unlucky ones from taking the shot. And her ability might just come in handy some day. We'll have to wait and see. I do see good things for her though.

Like most Promicin Positives, there will be a lot of challenges to face but knowing Ria, she will pass them with flying colors. There will be times when she get's discouraged, when she questions if taking Promicin was the right thing but this is a process that Promcin Positives go through. It's become a natural phase for us. And like most Promicin Positives, Ria will come to accept her ability, accept herself, and accept the work she accomplishes, she will even come to accept the bad stuff that she stumbles apon.

It's all apart of the process of being a Promicin Positive.

My Week at the New Center

(Written on July 11th)

I'm here in Texas doing the mission Shawn Farrell has asked of me. I arrived on Monday to the Center. So many people were gathered despite the fact that the Center doesn't open until Friday.

I walked inside and was greeted by a man by the name of Jasper Johnson. He will be the one to run the Center once I leave. I ran a quick test on him to see if he was Promicin Positive and sure enough he was:

His ability: He can cure mental illnesses. Anything from depression, PTSD, Post Partum depression, BPD, Bipolar disorder to even more severe cases such as Mental Retardation.

Jasper was telling me that Heather Tobey had a personal team sent out here to look at potential candidates for running the Center. They either had to be a 4400 or Promicin Positive. They had over 200 applicants, most P+'s. Johnson was the most qualified: at 38 yrs. old, before taking Promicin, Johnson got a degree in Psychology as well as a teaching degree for Special Ed. His father had suffered from PTSD, he had a brother who was MR, and a sister who was Bipolar. When he was a kid, he was always going out of his way to learn about mental illnesses and helping people (young & old) who were MR. He even helped out in the Special Olympics every year from the time he was 10.

After taking Promicin, he soon found out he could cure mental disorders after he was able to heal his sister. Her Bipolar disorder is completely gone and she no longer has any episodes or is on any medication. She's a normal young woman.

After the bit of history, it quickly became my job to set up interviews with potential security guards, and secretaries. Other staff members interviewed for other positions as well. We did call backs the same night so they could report to work on Tuesday.

On Tuesday, my job involved getting security together. There were 50 new employees in total and all 50 showed up (30 m; 20 f.) I went over the rules of conduct and then issued out the guns, badges, ear pieces, and uniforms. All other employees were set in place as well.

In the evening, we had a conference with all employees. This conference was a good opportunity for Johnson. His crowds will be much larger in the future but this was a nice start. He conducted himself very professionally. The way Shawn Farrell would. Only difference is that because of Johnson's age, he had a more professional quality and more experience. We asked them questions and if they answered "no" to one of them, they were dismissed. None were dismissed.

On Weds. it will consist of basic training as well as on Thurs. Fri. the Center will be ready for opening.

I will be a way for a while. Instead of leaving on a job for NTAC, I have been given an assignment by Shawn Farrell himself.

He has asked me to go to some town in Texas (a place called El Paso). There are a few original 4400's and now there are even more Promicin Positives. There are no safe places or 4400 Centers. Although currently because of the rise in P+ the city thought it was time to invest in creating one. It has been under construction for several months.

Shawn has asked me to go and help them set things up for about a week. He wants me to create it like the center in Seattle once was when Jordan Collier first opened the place back in 2005. He knows my work with the 4400 and Promicin Positives: the talks I've given, the help I've provided, etc, so he feels I am best qualified to handle this situation and to get the ball rolling.

The P+ and 4400's of El Paso, Tx need a place like the Centers across the country so it's great that it is finally happening. I am really glad to be a part of it.

I have informed my boss on this and while she is skeptical about me helping out the Center at the same time she is also giving me permission since she has seen Shawn work and after him healing her father, she has come to trust a little on what the 4400 and Promicin Positives are doing.

As a result of telling her what my plans were, I also had the unfortunate task of telling her that I was a P. Positive. She actually took it better than I thought I would although when I get back I am grounded (so to speak). When I get back, for 2 full weeks I will be nothing but paper work and helping Marco Pacella in the Theory room. There will be no outside investigative cases. I can live with that.

I will keep a journal as to what goes on and then post them here. Until then, I wish all of you the best of luck in the things happening in your own lives. See you soon.

The Conversation

Shawn Farrell & The 4400 Center

I had the honor of meeting Shawn Farrell at the 4400 Center yesterday afternoon (July 3rd, 2007). It was difficult to get in since people were scattered everywhere, people wanting to get in to have the chance at meeting the infamous healer.

After making my way through the crowd, I read the minds of the security guards blocking the door way and then I flashed my NTAC badge at them. After getting confirmation from Shawn Farrell himself, I was allowed access. After making my way up the stairs and to his office, I put the badge away since I wasn't there representing myself as an NTAC agent. I was there representing myself as a supporter of the 4400 and as a Promicin Positive.

Shawn was hesitant in wanting to see me since he's not a big fan on those who take Promicin. I don't really blame him though. The guy had helped Jordan Collier and then found himself in a coma for 3 months. Now in that short amount of time the world has changed around him so he's having to make quick thoughts and decisions about this new found world that he missed out on for a while.

Shawn and I got to talking for a while and it ended up being better than he thought it would be. The meeting went exactly as I had hoped it would.

After the meeting I was then given a job ( I will not go into detail about these jobs I was given.)

I really don't have much of a life anymore so now what I have are 4 different jobs. I am not complaining though because it was me who asked Shawn for one job and he instead added on the other. I really hope that I am going down the right path. With 4 jobs, that will be a challenge but now I really have nothing left to loose. No family in town, my five best friends are dead, and my husband is a medic in Iraq. It will be challenging but I have the faith that I will be able to handle it. And I am not going to be letting Shawn Farrell down. He gave me these jobs and he can take them away if I don't do the jobs correctly.

I am a boat captain, I am an NTAC agent, I am a Promicin Positive, and now I am an employee at the 4400 Center. This is where my life has led me and I will not let anyone down. I will not let myself down.

(I have posted my conversation with Shawn on another blog titled "The Conversation". It is unreadable however since I decided to write it in code for security purposes. If you can read it then send me a message and title it "Code" and we can talk from there.)

24 Rushed Hours

Lately my life has consisted of one dramatic change after another. Today was no different. I know find myself married at age 18 as of yesterday evening at 1735 (5:35 pm) on July 1st,2007. Kai and I always knew we would end up married to each other, we knew the moment we met each other back in Arizona while he was working the cash register at Walmart and I was paying and on my way out. What we didn't know was how soon it would be.

And now my husband has been taken from me today.

When I came home from my camping trip, Kai wasn't home which was odd since he always is at 10 in the morning. I found my dogs in the bedroom and it was then that they told me that Kai never came home from work on Friday and that he hadn't been home all weekend. That wasn't like him.

On the answering machine, there was a message from Kai. He said that he was okay but that he was being held for questioning by NTAC.

How could this be happening?

The reason Kai was being held was because an Anti turned him in. Kai works at the rehab center at Seattle Memorial Hospital and he gives people their limbs back and helps them readjust to it. The doctors and patients there love him- not just because of what he can do with his Promicin ability but also because of the kind of person he is. They don't think that because he took Promicin that makes him a criminal.

One patient thought otherwise: a twelve year old boy who lost both his legs in a fatal car accident that killed his brother. Kai told me that the patient was giving him a real hard time- telling him that using abilities in public was illegal and all of that stuff you hear in the news. Well unfortunately the kid went back to his room and dialed the police instead of the security guards, who in turn dispatched him to NTAC.

Jed Garrity and Aaron Roy were the ones called since Tom and Diana were working on a case involving an elderly woman.

Instead of going in like I was supposed to, my only reason for showing up at NTAC was to see my boyfriend.

Before I could see him, Director Doyle pulled me aside and told me that the US Army was taking Kai's case and that Kai would no longer be in NTAC's custody after 15 hours.

I could not believe this! The US Army will be sending Kai to the front lines as a medic in Iraq. His mission: Any soldier to loose a limb while in the line of duty, Kai will be there to use his ability and replace their limbs, leaving the soldiers to be in combat longer and not have to worry about being taken out of the force and then back to the states for treatment and rehab. He will be deployed for 6 months. And where does that leave Kai? He is using his ability and helping others but over all he gets nothing out of it.

Because of this new change, Kai and I decided to call a Catholic Priest to come and do a small ceremony for us. It wasn't our dream wedding but what could we do? It was either get married now or wait for six months until he returned. We both knew we couldn't wait that long since we had started planning the wedding for August 1st.

For a few hours, they released Kai and we had time to ourselves. He left at 4 a.m. this morning.

It's a late Monday evening and I sit here alone in my apartment. I go over some case files to try to keep my mind off things but my mind always goes back to the last 24+ hours. Other than my dogs, I am now alone. I have a husband but no husband to come home to.

I have now become what most would call "An Army Wife."

Reflection

As I sit with my back against a long, the wilderness behind me and the waters edge reaching the tips of my feet, two quotes come to mind:

1.) "Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction."

2.) "By facing our challenges we discover our potential."

My life has gotten complicated to the point where death seems to be a re-occuring theme. I guess when I first started out (up until now), that was the major thing I was blind to. When I first took Promicin, the thought of death never really occured to me. I did know the risks but on some subconscious level, I was still blinded by the 50/50 odds. The reason I though I would never have the Angel of Death knocking on my door was because of the fact that my father was a 4400- I always thought that made me safe somehow. I know now that that is not true.

Now the people I know are dropping like flies. I was a loner in high school with the exception of five best friends, a cousin and her boyfriend. Of those seven- seven took Promicin and only one survived. 1 out of 7- very terrible odds.

The one thing I have learned on this retreat is that I am not going to let their deaths become meaningless. I brought candles and held a vigil for the six of them- letting the candles float on lily pads in the water.

I may not like the fact that the people I love and care for are passing away but it's like a friend once said: "We fight the pain in the present for the hope of a better future."

This is the burden we have been given. We can either hide forever in a cave with no light shinning through (which is pretty much what I've been doing on this camping retreat) or we can take the big risks and do our part to save humanity.

Before taking Promicin I had avoided any and all kinds of risks. As much as I would like to go back to my old world where everything much safer and much simpler- to a time where camping was my constant, I know now that I can't. And that in and of itself is a painful thing to accept.

Jordan Collier said it perfectly in 4 Matter-of-Fact Statements:

1.) The time for sitting on the fence is over. The time for greatness is now.

2.) Each of you has a role to play. Your only choice is whether you accept it or have it thrust upon you.

*3*.) I know it's tempting to think we can hold onto the past to everything that's safe and easy but we cannot.

4.) We are now seperated from our old lives by a gulf that can never again be reached.

So what do I do? Do I wait for my destiny to be thrust upon me or do I let go of all the fears that BearClaw pointed out and just surrender to this new world?

Do I keep holding onto the past and keep taking the camping trips to where everything is okay whenever I retreat despite the world being in turmoil or do I move forward with the difficult part of leaving my past behind?

I now know one thing: I will not hold onto the past. I have a tendency of thinking too much on the past and thinking of all of the 'what could have been's' only then to make myself miserable because life is not how I would like it to be. If I am going to be miserable then I don't want it to be because of things that have long sinced happened. That certainly is no way of living.

I must accept life as it is now and I must take responsibility for this life instead of hidding away while the rest of the world moves on. Running away might be my kind of utopia but unfortunately the world is not ready for a utopia yet. We must fix the world before any one of us is to be in a safe place. If we all cower and run away what kind of world is that? And what kind of example would we be setting- not a very good one.

The things I will hang onto are the things forever set in my heart: my family. They will come with me wherever I go no matter how dangerous it may be or no matter how scared I might get. I'm 18, I didn't ask for any of this. I should be in college right now, not trying to do my part in saving humanity. Had my family not died, then that's what would have happened but unfortunately the stakes were turned on me when someone thought the world was better off without them. I don't know what my role is in all of this but I am sure going to try to do what I can.

So once again to quote Jordan Collier:

"We move forward, always forward and into whats next.

We make a choice, we act on that choice."

And all that's left is to live in hope."

"Danger Will Robinson, Danger"

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache to the point where it sounded like a major ringing in my ears. As I begun to get control of my senses I realized it wasn't a ringing at all- it was the sound of a thousand voices all at once, animal and human a like ( I can differentiate the two because in my mind the animal thoughts come across in a green lighting while the human thoughts come across in a gray lighting. Finding out the exact person or the exact animal is much more difficult since I don't know every person or animal ont he planet.).

There were so many thoughts it was hard to make them all out. The voices were alerting me to something but what it was, I wasn't sure.

I quickly rushed out of the tent and went down to the water's edge. The air was muggy almost like fog but darker. There was a young orca out in the water splashing about. I tried to read his thoughts but with the other mulitiple thousands splashing in my own mind, I could not find out which thoughts were his. Overhead hawks and bald eagles flew, almost as if in a panicked state. Out of the wood work came a black bear- again their thoughts were unreadable. I closed my eyes trying to block out all of the human thoughts and it seemed to work. Now the thoughts were reduced to half. After getting better control I was able to focus on the 4 animals surrounding me.

The first thing I did was take the raft to swim where the young orca was. Something was bothering him and I wanted to control him before he hurt himself.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"Something happening on the mainland," was all he said. "Lot's of commotion."

The orca swam away to go have some fun. When he was out a good distance and away from the cove, he jumped three feet into the air and then splashed.

I called out to the Seahawk and he flew over towards me; his talons resting on my black glove.

"Go see what's going on for me," I said to him.

"You got it creature girl," he said and he flew off.

Ten minutes later Seahawk returned.

"What did you see?" I asked him.

"It's very bad creature girl. Something bad happened. As always Seattle is in chaos. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"If it's nothing out of the ordinary why do I hear so many thoughts? It's one major headache."

"Maybe they're trying to tell you something," said the black bear named BearClaw.

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"Creature girl, you have to go back."

"Go back, why?"

"People need you, creature girl. You have to go back."

"What if I don't want to go back?"

"What are you saying, kid?" asked the black bear who I named BearClaw.

"What if I want to stay here instead."

"You can't stay here," he replied.

"And why not?" I asked demanding an answer.

"Creature girl," said Seahawk, "You came here looking for answers and it falls upon us to provide you with those answers. This is not your world, your world is out on the mainland."
"Your father was a 4400," said Seahawk. "It was always your destiny to follow in his footsteps. He helped people and helped other 4400s and now the task has fallen to you. You were doing great at first but some how you found yourself taking the wrong tracks. Instead of being out where you're needed, you are here: no cell phone service, your laptop on the brink of death since you didn't bring an extra battery, isolated from the rest of the world."

"Well what am I supposed to do? I am an NTAC agent yes but I am also a Promicin Positive. What made me think that I could handle this?"

"You did," replied BearClaw. "When you suppressed your fears. Now those fears of you have made their way back in and they are trapping you. Release them and you'll be able to continue with what you started. You have a problem of balance: balance both and you'll be okay. You don't need your animal communicator or provision ability turned on at work so don't use it. And when your off the job you don't need to act like you're on the job. Your father would want you to continue on your mission, he wouldn't want you to hide the rest of you life. No matter how you spin it, you are hidding."

"What if I don't consider it as hidding," I asked. "I have been camping for as long as I can remember- it's become a part of who I am and without it I become sucked into the vortex that is the stress of life. That's how I've always viewed it you know- when I'm out in the woods away from everything else I can live my life without having to worry about anything. I can be free."

"As great as that is, creature girl," said Seahawk. "You're not a kid anymore. It would be different if your family were still alive because then you would go off to college and live the whole American dream and continue on with the camping traditions but that's not the case anymore. There is a new American Dream that must be lived and that is the vortex you've been sucked into. You are apart of it and the world needs you despite how minor your ability may feel sometimes. Don't let your family be disppointed in you in their after life."

"Go back," said BearClaw. "You're destiny is out there, it doesn't belong here."